Writing & Journal Exercises

Simply Let Go, Move Forward

    My writer self today looks like myself sitting as I am in my chair next to the window.  She looks powerful and kind, and relieved to be unburdened by a false appraisal that she need to slow down.

Exercise:  Journey Writer:  Describe your writing self.  How do you see the part of you who is writing today?  [a variation from Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 9]

Release And Heal

    The Sun is rising breaking through the glass of the mind, shattering illusions.  Fear plumes like exhaust from holy trenches, disappearing into the night air.  The sun residing within purifies the throbbing desire for more light - soul ignites to reach in and feel the sorrow left behind by the fear.  Healed now, caressed by love, the mind hums in enlightened bliss - enveloped in graceful peace.

Exercise:  The Sun Is Rising - This is a writing prompt: "The Sun is rising".   [A Writer's Book of Days: A Spirited Companion & Lively Muse for The Writing Life by Judy Reeves pg. 177]

In Our Minds, Seeds of Hope

The Sun is rising in all our minds.  Bidden into deep dark caverns planting seeds of hope, it now rises awakening sleep-ridden thoughts, blackened by doubt. 

Exercise:  The Sun Is Rising - This is a writing prompt:  "The Sun is rising".   [A Writer's Book of Days: A Spirited Companion & Lively Muse for The Writing Life by Judy Reeves pg. 177]

Love You

    I really shouldn't be writing but since this is my only real company why not.  Recent quote spoken from me to another:

"If you examined the facts of my life, no one could out right say and point out, 'Oh she was loved by God' but if one examined the facts of my life, one could say 'She loved like God'."

And he agreed.

You see tonight its no comfort for its that unique hopelessness that arrives in those do-yourselfers that without that love and support - the feeling never ends - hopelessness.   The hopelessness of ever being loved and cared for as one was meant to.

I shouldn't be writing because I've been drinking slightly - but despite my good intentions sometimes I have a rebellious side that feels like doing what she wants no matter what.

I just read a quote in a book, which got me here:

"Eighty percent of success is showing up" - Woody Allen

which at first read, I thought "Bullshit, I showed up and he was less than hospitable... etc etc" but when I read it again, its even more bullshit.  What a slacker youare Mr. Allen.

Today marks the end of a weekend that is an anniversary of an experience I had a year ago.  I could write and write about it, you know.  I would never stop if I started.  He apparently enjoyed himself thoroughly though, this weekend.  Parties etc.  And so I suppose it must be.   Happiness creation is what I'm about - all the way.

I'm babbling aren't I?  Broken hearts do that.  When you break open the dam, it all comes forth without much regards to sensibilities doesn't it?

No one wants to see me in pain, and yet they do not much to avert it or make a difference.  Its strange really.  And I don't ask for anything or much at all.

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

The Council

    I sit among the others at a crystalline table that glows with love and wisdom.  It is a high level of Heaven, a council called The Double Diamond Plantinum Council of Ascension.  Ascended Masters and Angels sit on all sides, meditating, discussing, resolving important matters as I sit and write quietly.  The room appears small but intense.  Focus is key here as well as all virtues in action at once.  They are my friends, my guides, my loves and they are always ready to speak with me whenever I need help and they let me know what they think of my writing when I ask them.  This is an ideal spot to write because I feel like I belong, and the energies around me here are supportive and as intent and intense as I am to do the most good and in Divine Order. 

Exercise:  Imagine The Ideal - Imagine an ideal pleasant writing spot for yourself, where you feel comfortable, have privacy, and can establish a supportive routine.   [a variation of Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 9]

The Wall Map

    There is a large map on my wall.   I remember when I wanted it so,  I searched many places to find one I liked.  More to the point, to find one suitable and that I could afford.  I like the idea of having an at a glance look at where everything is situated.  However, I find for my purposes it is not detailed enough.  I need something much bigger, much more finely detailed and better yet, mounted on a cork board so that I can pin places I need to.  As it stands, or rests, on the wall now, its a reminder of how many people there are in the world and how many places there are.  Each unique with there own founding dates and stories, all with their own special histories, each with their own legacy of citizens.   I love visiting new places.  I love learning new languages and about cultures.  I love the world, really.  And enjoy caring, healing and helping its citizens while they are here.  Here in the larger context of living on this earth plane.  It is such an amazingly beautiful place, isn't it?  So much to see, so much variety.  And yet, when one looks at the  landmass strewn across the oceans, it is rather small, in a sense. 

And now I stare blankly wondering where to go.  Yes where to go indeed.  Where will be my home, my true home on this planet.  Where do I uniquely belong? 

I often wonder what treasures lie on the bottom of the world's oceans and what treasures they will uncover when they dig the sahara desert.   And where will be the next golden city?

So many places, so many people.  So many.

Exercise:  Flow Writing - Pick a tangible object from your surroundings and use it as the opening image in your entry.  Let your mind free-associate from one thought to the next.  Write for a specific period of time.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 24]

October Writer: Who is Acting?

Exercise:  Journey Watcher Drawing:  In the journal draw the acting part of yourself for today.  Who is acting? [a variation from Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 6]

October Writer: Who is Watching?

Exercise:  Journey Watcher Drawing:  In the journal draw the watching part of yourself for today.  Who is watching? [a variation from Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 6]

Too Much, Yet Too Little

    My writing self today is intense and beefy.    I see most of my writing self's upper half and its genderless.    Its pure muscle.    Its going somewhere and nowhere at the same time.    When I pan out I see a heavenly heart surrounding it.    Its bright and positive and ever expanding, protecting.

My writing self's words to me, for the moment, say:

"I'm scared.    I do too much and not enough."

Exercise:  Journey Writer:  Describe your writing self.  How do you see the part of you who is writing today?  [a variation from Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 9]

Sound Images

There are few things I wanted to write about so I'll "plunge in". *grin

I really enjoyed the coconut smoothie  I had at the restaurant on Friday.  I ordered it on a whim - a little something different - and it was a refreshing surprise for the taste buds.

Last night I watched a bit of Jay Leno in the middle of the night while it showed on the west coast.  Antonio Banderas was on and he was discussing his new perfume/cologne.  He told Jay and the audience that the perfume makers sent him a case filled with scents for him to choose from.  They were called "Concepts".  He described one as "the scent of Sunday morning", for instance.  And that got me thinking on some level.

This morning, while I was enjoying a bath, as is my usual way, I began singing. Singing and singing and then all of a sudden, I made a sound that brought a strong image of the waves of an ocean - specifically the crest of a wave.  I kept singing that sound "concept" and it kept resonating with that image.  This got me thinking about the other night and how smell creates images in the mind and also about how I admire Ravel's music because when I listen to this composer all sorts of images are easily invoked.   It is understood and known by the enlightened, that each thing in matter, that can be seen, has a colour vibration, a light vibration,  a sound vibration, (a smell?), and so on in a specific patterning unique to that object.   I found it incredible this morning that I was able to find a resonating sound with my voice that matched what an ocean wave is like.  It would be fun if I could discover more sounds.  But I'm grateful for that spontaneous revelation.

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

Earth Cleansing

    I was gifted this morning not with something physical but with something intelligent.  After a deep meditation I have some new insights on dealing with earth energies.  As I worked them through, out of no where came a book idea.  I've been searching out a book idea for over a year now and it has finally come.  Of course it will take time to create the work of art as it will be part of an overall adventure of discovery but I'm hoping that I can bring it to life in divine order.

Notes I'd like to jot down:
Four corners:  salt
Ground: milk & honey
Trees: black pepper & milk & vinegar
Rock: pond water & manure & salt & fire

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

The Antioch Bookmark

    A bookmark lays graphic face up, upside down, here next to me on my desk.  I bought it several years ago amongst many various interesting things to send out to people randomly as part of a global internet project of sharing and connecting.  I bought several of this particular one, made by the antioch publishing company because I felt it was attractive on sight. It is a collage of images with gold embossing and a golden cord and tassle.  An Angel with a golden halo looks seriously at the reader.

There is a orange leaf with a small purple square background.  And there is a quote by Edgar Allan Poe that reads: "All that we see or seem, Is but a dream within a dream." 

I learned this year that Edgar's mother was a Boston actress. I find that fascinating and that he didn't like New England that much.

    With red flourishes, peacocky images and a timepiece in roman numerals, this bookmark attracts the eye in many ways.  It would almost be possible to say it could detract from the typed words on a page if said words did not awaken the mind as much as this imagery.

Exercise:  Flow Writing - Pick a tangible object from your surroundings and use it as the opening image in your entry.  Let your mind free-associate from one thought to the next.  Write until you have arrived at a place that feels finished.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 24]

Peace

     I have to stop forgetting how much karmic issues overlap my life moments, my emotions, my feelings.  And that the path I am on is very unique and unlike any others and I have to just accept that.  That as inhospitable as it feels at times, there are rewards when I complete tasks, missions, and the like.  And I have to accept those for what they are when they come.  I must stop striving for a life that I can't live now and may never get to enjoy this time around.  I must just do what I must do and find a way to be at peace with it.   

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

Giant Lulls

    The last few days have been intense.  Giant lulls then amazingly brilliant sparks of insight.  Some in the middle of the night, some upon waking, some in the evening - all of them I cherish and have steadfastly recorded, learned from and am striving to move forward and grow with.

    Today I went to a huge grocery store and bought a frying pan and some sushi.  Sushi I just ate while I contemplated the weekend that looms.  In absence of how my life was meant to have developed and become by now, every day is a tremendous struggle because I live with the intense awareness of what I was supposed to be living.  Not in a fantasical mental world type thinking way - no my mind is quite aware of where I am at and why - no it is like an overlap of laughter and sharing, conversations, events, feelings, nurturing, caring, that envelops the reality of what is, like a film but with power and force.  People often like to muse what would happen if A and B does not come together, they muse because everything comes together as its meant to, right?  Well, the term "evil" doesn't exist for the sake of drama or horror films - there is a real evil in the world and it isn't an evil that causes catastrophes, no thats something different.  Though this type of evil thrives on events like those because of so much suffering and pain involved. No real evil is cutting away from another what is the essential rightful inherent life-giving experience, so inherent that without it, it still lives and breathes alongside them irregardless, and yes with the full awareness of what, why and how that very experience, that life, is not being lived.

    I've been trying for a long time to master living in the aftermath.  I can't say that I'm succeeding.  In truth, even though aspects of my life that would have grown and developed independently of A and B coming together are thriving, the horrendous experience as described above seems to intensify and being the sensitive that I am, every detail is never missed.  I can with all my might and power deflect, transcend, ignore, smile at, balance, agree to, accept, let go of, the overlapping truth of what was suppposed to be in the place of what I'm living, while I live something else entirely, but I wake up in the morning with the same exact real pounding into the light of my moments like meat coming out of a meat grinder.  It oozes in.  And with the glorious cheerfulness of a puppy it awaits my interaction as though it were real.  And then I and the life that is not, both come to terms that we are not in the same place - it disjointed, dejected, and I, well the same.

    And I know its not me for I am still steadfastly materializing great things for others.  I am dedicated, caring, and just.  I am discerning, genuine and good. 

    But some would say, it will adjust eventually, won't it?  Well here is the thing, when A and B don't come together, nor do the successive events.  And when those successive events don't come together, the multitude of people and events that wait for the cue or who sense out the reality of those events and the development and the consciousness it would have had on me as an individual does not occur.  Thus it is as though I do not exist.

    And I tell you, if I were never to write again, it would be, my friends, as though I did not.

    I will never truly understand it.  The callousness enacted regularly by others while they stare in the mirror and ignore everything that makes them happy - as though they had a right.

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

Intersection

    There is an intersection that I drive past to get to the highway.  On its corner is a little church and graveyard.  There are two stop signs on either side of the the crossroad, however the main road drives through without one. 
    Whenever I drive past this particular part of road I see the potential of an accident.  Each time.  I just see it flash before me so I slow down even though the road signs don't call for it.  I slow down, and check for traffic coming from other right angles.   

    Today, as I approached that intersection, there was a fireman in the middle of the road.  He was waving traffic through.  There was a fire engine and a cop car as well. 

There had been a car accident.  Two cars badly damaged.   One smashed right into the graveyard and its fence on its other side.

I knew it would happen.  Sad that it did.  I hope they fix that intersection, providing it better safety.

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

What Do You Do Anyway?

The strangest thing happened today as I was websurfing.  I came across someone's flickr photo stream after reading a friend's journal.  My LJ acquaintance was writing about how she was amazed at so many people viewing her newly uploaded self-portrait so I went to see it again (as I had already commented on it with "Pretty!").  When I got there I saw others had commented too and followed their profile links.  This one particular flickr user, uses her portfolio for art.  And I was completely amazed.  Image after image of gorgeous art, seemless, and so well done as to give the impression of ease and definitely of talent.  And then, the thought process hit.

I'm not an artist, I thought.  All this time, something I already knew, but I have been hounded with "Do art! Do art!" and I have, and I am.  But.... I'm not an artist, artist.  Then I started to wonder what I was really.  Anything?  This continued to spiral and spiral to the point where I actually had the thought that I must be garbage.  ?!?!?  I managed to discount myself completely and it was very matter of fact. 

It could have been more disconcerting had I not just flowed and allowed these thoughts to appear and disappear.  Because in the end, as I let it go and let that be - a great new concept of doing enlivened in me - a truly great wisdom - and having put that episode out of my mind and sitting in front of the tv to veg - I lept up and went to my room, where I write, and started jotting down notes on my new discoveries.

It was invigorating and charts a new course.

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

Paintbrush

    On a makeshift desk there stands a white cylindrical container holding an assortment of paint brushes.  These are mostly for watercolour use, in varying sizes, big and small with blue wood handles. 
    I love going down art store aisles with their manifold offerings of paints, pencils, pen, art brushes, the lot.  Its tremendous fun.  Especially fun is the huge line of art brushes - it seems to be endless.  I would love to buy those brushes with the white fibres.  It looks so clean and fresh - it feels soft too.
    I don't have a particular favourite size of brush to use when I do my watercolours.  Nor a "system" developed yet, ie. take small brush and do this, then take large brush, then med. for this...etc.  I just go by feel right now.  And that feels fine.

I tend to leave my brushes in the water and as I understand it isn't the best thing for the brushes long term, but I still do it.  I like the idea of quick, easy access.  It makes it more fun than going through the process of cleaning and putting away each time.  Although I do clean the water when it needs it.

There are about 10 art brushes in the white water-filled container right now.   It comforts me to see them there - but I prefer to see them on a new art table.  Now THAT would be awesome.   But I'm having a challenging time finding the right one for me.  It took me almost a year to find new mugs, so I'm guessing I should be patient with this as well.

The art I'm doing lately is rather special work, and specialized.  I'm hoping (when I get the art table) that I will get really into creating art for public consumption after a time of concentrated practice.  I hope this comes soon as its been long in coming.

And I guess I will need new art brushes when that day arrives.

Exercise:  Flow Writing - Pick a tangible object from your surroundings and use it as the opening image in your entry.  Let your mind free-associate from one thought to the next.  Write for a specific period of time.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 24]

Too Alone

    I feel like I'm going to go mad.  It's not my madness but it doesn't seem to abate.  I can't stop it and I have no support.  I can only do so much and people are ferociously needy and greedy.  With no one for me, and me capable of assisting anyone, the odds are pretty clear what is likely to happen.  I really can't isolate myself anymore than I have.  That wasn't a perfect solution in the first place but reality is what it is and you have to deal with what is.  People are out of their minds.  They use coping mechanisms on top of coping mechanisms on top of coping mechanisms to appear coherent and functional - but they are horrid messes and refuse to do anything worthwhile to help themselves gain some authenticity.

    And I care.  I deeply deeply care.
    And I know.  I know what is needed to heal and transform someone, for the true fulfillment of their potential, to succeed in seeing their heart-centered dreams become a living reality they can enjoy.

But I can't make anyone do what is right by me, what they agreed to do before coming in.  I don't manipulate; I don't project; I don't do anything that interferes with another's will.

Regardless, here I am alone.  And those I have met, interacted with, tended to, are growing in the ways they hoped to be.

And I may go insane. Alone.

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

Under A Mountain

    I woke up this morning under a mountain.  This is not an experience unique to common man, but so few realize it.  Instead of flowing in the morass as the majority do, or bemoaning the fatigue, inertia and general feeling of being blocked that some do, I spent a good hour of my day deflecting other people's unconscious, subconscious, and conscious energies.  Specifically other people's fears, worries, paranoia, anger, hate, doubt etc.. until I could feel my heart glowing, and myself standing where I was stand and not displaced by a barrage of nonesense.
    I learned something last night and that is how important it is to detach in the moment.  Especially moments where you are not feeling particularly heart-centered joy and enjoyment.  This detachment allows the recognition of what is influencing you to feel a certain way rather than allowing you to flow freely in your loving joyful consciousness.  A consciousness that seeks to be, flow, feel and share happily.

   It's much more valuable and practical to live in the truth of a moment and therefore beauty, rather than hide under a mountain.

Exercise:  Plunge In - Plunge in with what is most compelling to you.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 4]

Physical Life

    I came into this world, in female form, in Winnipeg, Manitoba at 2:22 PM on August 18th, 1973.  It was a long labour and I was the first child to a young couple, newly married, who had met through their careers in the military.
    I was a healthy baby with a knack for getting my fingers caught in places and with a love of flowers.
    Being that my parents were in the military, I moved a lot.  From Manitoba, to Quebec, to the Northwest Territories, to Ontario, to British Columbia and then back to Ontario, where I have lived in several different locations since my departure from the parents household.
    I maintained my physical well-being throughout.  Though I did experience the chicken pox which was not fun.
    My favourite food as a child was corn.  I'm not a big eater in the sense I like a large selection to which I enjoy having some of each.  I'm not one to eat 4 bowls of cereal because I can.  I'm likely to be the one with something left on her plate. 
    My athletic involvements were numerous and sporadic.  Some I recall are soccer, cross country skiing, skating, volleyball, basketball, floor hockey, badminton, long distance running, track and field, swimming, and tennis.
    I love being in nature and taking baths.  I was a vegetarian for many years and chose a wholistic lifestyle for my physical well-being.  This includes meditation, vibrational medicine, herbal tinctures, organic foods, sun, and drinking lots of spring water.
    I find I need lots of rest but when called upon my body has incredible endurance.
    I have blue-grey eyes, long brown hair with auburn and golden flecks, freckles, unique teeth, a roman-ish nose, and a slender body.  I developed a shyness and lack of confidence in unfamiliar social settings when I was alienated at school during my growth spurts when it was deemed and clearly pointed out to me that I was unattractive compared to the rest during those years.

    At present, I live a somewhat solitary life in a lavish wooded area with a large swimming pond in Ontario, Canada.  Though I would prefer more physical interaction with others, my experiences have been few and far between.  I maintain a high level spiritual lifestyle that has my physical body imbued with a loving vibration.  And I prefer it that way.   
    After a difficult few years that were emotionally taxing, my hair has shown signs of stress and worry with some greying.
    I work out regularly and am committed to eating well.  I love affection and laughing.  A physical idiocracy I have is that I'm slightly myopic in my left eye. 
    I developed and have been trained in the healing arts.  I can heal others physically through acupressure, massage and through simple touch.  And my most favourite physical activity (other than sex) is dancing.

Exercise: Write a one-page biography   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg.4]

(note: this was written purely from the physical perspective, and as a prompt thus quickly. the next one will be from an emotional perspective.)

The Crystal Chalice

I have a beautiful frosted white crystal chalice glass that I drink my ice cold water from during the day.  I love the look of it as it appears elegant and substantial at the same time.  It reminds me of the court days, a relic of the past.  I've always loved goblets and hope to one day begin collecting an assortment of useable ones to display and enjoy as well. 

Exercise:  Flow Writing - Pick a tangible object from your surroundings and use it as the opening image in your entry.  Let your mind free-associate from one thought to the next.  Write until you have arrived at a place that feels finished.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 24]

The Speakers

The speakers.  A generous height and clear, with strong sounding booms.  Speakers made by harmon/kardon adorn the top of my computer table awaiting music to flow from them.  I don't listen to music near enough.  Part of that is my need to do things just right and not having enough time and energy to discover all that just-so music for me.  I will eventually.  I want to get a faster computer so that when I put on iTunes it doesn't slow down my computer so much, requiring me to restart.  They're attractive speakers with four circular aspects where the sound comes out.  'Romero Sugar' bought me these for Christmas one year.  I wasn't too pleased with the gifts except one, a ring.  I felt like I was given low quality gifts so that the highly considered, major one, would be all the more special.  That's not the way to do it, I feel.  You give your best or not at all.  I felt bad because I was so enraged inside at the time of receiving.  I didn't express it.  Part of the anger in the case of the speakers was that it never crossed my mind to receive speakers as a gift and I knew he loves speakers so I felt anger from the past at being given things not really for me and watching someone else get the things I wanted so dearly.  But it turned out that the speakers were a very nice gift.  They are good quality and I ended up getting more into listening to music than I had prior.  I repaired the anger I felt inside by healing it with gratitude.  And thanking him abundantly in spirit.

Exercise:  Flow Writing - Pick a tangible object from your surroundings and use it as the opening image in your entry.  Let your mind free-associate from one thought to the next.  Write until you have arrived at a place that feels finished.   [Life's Companion by Christina Baldwin pg. 24]